And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

When my surgery was cancelled in January, I could not begin to fathom what God was doing in that situation. It felt overwhelming to think of having to wait indefinitely for relief from the symptoms of gastroparesis.  It was certainly an exercise in trust that His plan was better.  It was an opportunity to learn to trust the foundation of faith that He has rebuilt for me in the last year of my life.  

Ultimately, over the next few months, God led me to a different doctor who was super thorough in her approach.  She placed me on IV fluids at a local infusion center multiple times a week.  She discovered that my symptoms had an autoimmune component that would benefit from an immunotherapy that I have had in the past.  We trialed the stimulator to ensure that it was the correct solution for me before permanent placement.  

The months of waiting, seemed long and uncertain, but oh was it worth the wait for the blessing he brought through it.  At the infusion center I was reconnected with nurses who have cared for me in the past and helped me push through my health struggles to get through college all those years ago.  They jumped right in to offer comfort and encouragement through this season too.  

The thoroughness of this doctor brought the return of a treatment that worked so well for me in the past.  The several years without this treatment brought increased struggle with my health but I had long since given up on getting it back on board.  I finally felt heard and supported.  Finally, the root of the problem was being treated again.

The stimulator was placed in July and has drastically improved my quality of life.  I’m no longer suffering with the constant nausea.  My plan was to just have the surgery and while this may have alleviated the current symptoms, the underlying cause would still be left untreated.

God provided a Red Sea Road, when all seemed uncertain and overwhelming.  He aligned a road that would allow my path to cross with the right people at the right time.  He orchestrated a brighter and more hopeful future than I could have ever anticipated.  He showed me, He alone will hold my right hand as He continues to walk me through chronic illness.  In my waiting He was working it all for my good even when all I could see was fear and uncertainty.

Friend, what hard things or uncertainty are you facing today?  I know it is difficult to see it while you are in the midst of the pain, heartache, or fear but as believers we can rest that He is working all things for good.  He has us, always.  May we land on His grace. 

In the age of social media, the focus of likes, friends, and followers can lead us to creating a façade and an image to prove our worth or value.  We strive tirelessly to build careers, pursue education, create the lives we think will show our value and contribution to society.  We want to leave our mark and make a name for ourselves.

I spent so much of my life trying to prove that I wasn’t the labels put on me that showed my brokenness.  I wanted to prove that I was an overcomer.  I pursued education and a career to show I couldn’t be stopped by illness or hardship.  I’m not saying that it’s wrong to fight hard to overcome, but the focus was on me.  I was striving and fighting in my own strength.  It was exhausting, lonely, and not something I could sustain on my own.

I have realized that it was not ever something that I was supposed to do in my own strength.  See, I found that when I stepped back and surrendered the problems to God, I found rest.  I’m learning that my focus needs to be in abiding and having relationship with God.  

What does it mean to abide in Christ?  Sinclair Ferguson sums up abiding Christ this way, “In a nutshell, abiding in Christ means allowing His Word to fill our minds, direct our wills, and transform our affections. In other words, our relationship to Christ is intimately connected to what we do with our Bibles!”  It is making Christ the center of our lives and positioning ourselves to become more Christlike.

When we abide in Him, the rest will either fall into place or He will change our perspective to match His priorities and promises.  When we abide in Him, He does the overcoming.  There is nothing left to prove when we shift our focus from us to Him.  Our only responsibility is to seek Him, chase Him, give it to Him, and depend on Him.  He will do the rest.  He will prove what needs to be proving.

What things have you been trying to prove?  What are you striving to overcome on your own?  Friend, hand it over to God.  He wants you to find your rest in Him.  He wants to do the overcoming and transforming needed in your life.  I pray you find your rest in Him.  May we land on His grace.  

As I reflect on Easter, my mind drifts back to last year.  I hadn’t yet had my first surgery for the gastroparesis and I was still feeling the brokenness of several relationships.  I was still trying to figure out what moving forward was going to look like, and there was still so much uncertainty.  

I was struggling to feel comfortable at Church because of the shame and embarrassment I felt with the broken relationships, and I honestly was dreading Easter. It was the first Holiday after everything had happened.  I was hoping that with the several extra service times that I would pick one where I wouldn’t see anyone, but of course I picked the same service.  I decided to take a seat in the back of the Sanctuary.    

As I sat there listening to the sermon, I was finding my eyes drawn to the people in the room, I felt, I couldn’t speak to.  I kept thinking about how the disciples must have felt after the crucifixion.  The fear, confusion, and uncertainty they must have been feeling.  How would they move forward, especially when they didn’t understand that the resurrection was coming on the 3^rd day.  Jesus told them what would happen but how could they fully grasp it?  Even though they knew He would die, I’m sure they couldn’t comprehend the violent death they watched unfold.  

It hit differently last year.  I related to the disciples in a new way.  I never imagined that my life would fall apart the way it did and that, for a time, it would seem that I lost some close friendships.  I was living in the confusion of Friday not able to grasp that that resurrection Sunday was coming.  As I sat there, reflecting and listening to the sermon, I felt God’s assurance to my heart that He was going to redeem and restore my life in ways I couldn’t begin to imagine.  Through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I had hope that God was not going to leave me in the confusion of the mess.  New life was going to come.

So, many things seem to have come full circle as Easter approaches this year.  I am not where I was last year, I’m no longer living in the confusion of my Friday.  I am now on a journey of learning to live in the hope and victory that we have through Jesus.  The broken church relationships have been reconciled and restored beyond what I could have ever imagined.  Sure, there are some things in my life that aren’t resolved, especially with my health, but I know that He is still writing this story.  Through, Jesus, we have hope that all will be made right and there is no mess that He is unable to clean up.  

Friend, I’m not sure what confusion, fear, or uncertainty you might be experiencing in your Friday, right now.  I can tell you that Resurrection Sunday is coming!  When you put your faith and hope in Jesus you have the promise of victory.  Every mess will be cleaned up.  In the end, everything will ultimately be made right.  Hold tight, Sunday is coming.  May we land on His grace.